Kidnapped!

Jake is in town, and she stopped by to show off a car she's thinking of buying and she kidnapped me! She has returned me to my home only to find my keys and lock up the house and to spread the word that I have been foully kidnapped and will shortly be forced to do things like go to small towns in Michigan and hang out and ...*gasp* have fun.

Do not call the police. It is a far far better thing to be kidnapped and whisked away to places not so exotic and barely known than to while away the time at home, bored.