Date tonight
Mar. 20th, 2004 12:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
clodia_risaSo tonight, I'm going on an actual date with my boyfriend. *shockhorror!* That's right, this weekend we're not going to sit around and watch movies and cook dinner ourselves, we're going out to dinner and to the bowling alley (although the location of either is unknown to be myself and my boyfriend because he is planning this excursion.) But not only that - as an added bonus we're going to make it a double date *ooooohaaaaaaah* with his ex-girlfriend and her current beau. *...*
Yeah...really. Matt still adores (in the strictly non-romantic way of course) Elizabeth, and so I can get to know her better, or so he can hang out with her in a way that they used to when they were dating, but with PDA with other people, we're going with her and her boy, whatever his name is, tonight.
I've seen E maybe three times in my life. Matt and I obviously know each other. Elizabeth and Matt obviously know each other. Elizabeth and WHF (What's his face) obviously know each other. Matt and WHF have met once. I don't know WHF's name, much less face.
So this is what I am imagining for tonight:
Greetings all around, and I learn WHF's name.
Uncomfortable silence.
Idle chatter.
Matt and Elizabeth bring something up from when they dated.
WHF and I glare at them, while they laugh, ignorant at their idiocy.
Then I completely suck at bowling, E does well, and so much insecurity grows. (Apparently they went bowling while they dated (2 years ago)) I haven't been bowling in five years. Obviously she has the upper hand.
You know...I just now realized that it has been two years since they've dated. They broke up right before Matt and I started dating again (and I had NO part in it).
I feel so jealous of her. I know its irrational. But I dated him before he knew her. I crushed on him while he was dating her, and listened to him while he talked about how wonderful she was, and helped him when they were fighting. I dated him afterward. I don't know if I should hate her, like her, despise her, fear her, or just ignore her. But I can't. Because Matt truly cares for her. And I can't be so silly and irrational as to say - "no...don't talk to her. I don't like her." Because it is silly and irrational. They're not going to get back together. They're just friends.
But I still feel sick to my stomach every time I think of them dating. I still get jealous when he hangs out with her. And I still know that I shouldn't.
Yeah...really. Matt still adores (in the strictly non-romantic way of course) Elizabeth, and so I can get to know her better, or so he can hang out with her in a way that they used to when they were dating, but with PDA with other people, we're going with her and her boy, whatever his name is, tonight.
I've seen E maybe three times in my life. Matt and I obviously know each other. Elizabeth and Matt obviously know each other. Elizabeth and WHF (What's his face) obviously know each other. Matt and WHF have met once. I don't know WHF's name, much less face.
So this is what I am imagining for tonight:
Greetings all around, and I learn WHF's name.
Uncomfortable silence.
Idle chatter.
Matt and Elizabeth bring something up from when they dated.
WHF and I glare at them, while they laugh, ignorant at their idiocy.
Then I completely suck at bowling, E does well, and so much insecurity grows. (Apparently they went bowling while they dated (2 years ago)) I haven't been bowling in five years. Obviously she has the upper hand.
You know...I just now realized that it has been two years since they've dated. They broke up right before Matt and I started dating again (and I had NO part in it).
I feel so jealous of her. I know its irrational. But I dated him before he knew her. I crushed on him while he was dating her, and listened to him while he talked about how wonderful she was, and helped him when they were fighting. I dated him afterward. I don't know if I should hate her, like her, despise her, fear her, or just ignore her. But I can't. Because Matt truly cares for her. And I can't be so silly and irrational as to say - "no...don't talk to her. I don't like her." Because it is silly and irrational. They're not going to get back together. They're just friends.
But I still feel sick to my stomach every time I think of them dating. I still get jealous when he hangs out with her. And I still know that I shouldn't.
